Why won’t any of you cunts dance?

No really. Why not? Because Throwing Muses – however fucking AWESOME they were tonight (and they were pretty fucking awesome) – have never been a favourite band of mine. They’re a band I was vaguely aware of during my teenage years, I recognised some of the songs tonight but that’s about it.

But I was still rocking the fuck out tonight.

Yes. I was that annoying bitch in front of you who was constantly moving around and headbanging to some of the tunes. Yes, I was the one who was howling like a wolf to try and encourage an encore.

And this is a band that isn’t even one of my favourites.

So why weren’t you dancing? Why weren’t you grinning madly when that bass line kicked in? Why weren’t you moving – helplessly, ecstatically – to the drum beat on that song?

How can you help but move? When Kristen Hersh is singing – in that rough, throat-fucked voice that makes you want to offer up anything you can so long as she’ll keep singing? When the bass and the drums melt over each other and beat into your chest and take over your fucking heartbeat?

Why are you all standing there and not moving a fucking inch?

This is music! This is something that, even if you’ve never heard the bloody band before, should beat in your fucking soul!

Dance like there’s no fucker watching. Dance like this says something to you. Dance like you’re fucking enjoying yourselves, you cunts!

*errata – this was written while I was a little drunk. I fucking stand by it though.

(Edit: I was indeed drunk here. Drunk enough to use 'errata' when I obviously meant 'caveat'. I still mostly stand by it.)