Friday, 17 December 2010

Rivalry


After several sessions the doctor at the hospital they were keeping you at told us it was called ‘Paranoid Body-dysmorphic Mutilation Syndrome’.

He said a horror of its involuntary movement was why you’d bitten your own tongue out. 

I waited till he left the room before pointing out to you that your left eye was twitching.

my skillz, let me show them

(No. No context for you)

Monday, 19 July 2010

Just your typical Glasgow Fair Monday


I have a view of a hotel from my office window. It’s the hotel above the railway station, behind the car park, with a view of the motorway.

In the underpass ‘plaza’ directly below it, with its handful of small businesses, there is a lapdance club. And a cafĂ© that will sell you things fried and wrapped in cheap white rolls as light and unreal as the cotton wool clouds on a children’s collage. It is not an upmarket hotel.

There is currently a man standing at one of the windows – four from the top, third from the left – and he is naked and masturbating. I’m struggling to imagine what it is that he could possibly be excited about in the view of the top storey of a 1980’s concrete-slabbed car park or the slightly grubby exterior of the ex-school building that houses the office I work in but, to be fair to him; he does not seem that passionate.

The curtain at the window is giving him bother. There seems to be a fault, as it keeps falling across the window – he can’t arrange it to his liking and has to keep stopping to push it back. Or possibly it’s the weather that’s troubling him. Dank and drizzling, with the sky the colour of grubby, sweat-stained sheets. That old Glasgow welcome.

Perhaps he is in town for some unwelcome task, or a boring meeting. Maybe it’s thoughts of quarterly figures and budgets that are making his hand listless, his enthusiasm limp.

Or, can he see us looking back at him? Are there more watching him from the other windows he can see? Is performing for a bored, disinterested audience not the pick-me-up he expected?

He’s turned away from the window now and the curtain, free from interference, creeps lankly down again, leaving a slight gap. I idly wonder if I would hear him sigh if I was in the room, and then go back to trying to decide what to have for lunch.

Friday, 21 May 2010

Nearer to Thee

Another day, another piction. I wonder if I should be concerned that all my ideas for these are creepy...

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

On the importance of caffeinated beverages

Another pictions post! This one is probably accurate if you catch me before 8am...

Thursday, 6 May 2010

It's not stealing. It's 'being inspired'

I've been looking through the archives of the wonderful asofterworld recently and decided to do something similar with the little snippit fics I've been coming up with. Similar except mine will be a single photo instead of a 3-strip comic. And won't be as witty. Or as twisted. Or as well produced.

So, after that stunningly seductive intro, here you are: ragbonehair pictions. It’s like someone took your childhood dreams and brought them to crappy, poorly illustrated life! (And no, not the sweet shops and puppies dreams. The ones with the killer clowns that ate your fingers like they were lollipops and then killed your puppy in front of you. Those dreams)

Mushrooms